People have different attitudes towards online dating as a phenomenon. Some assume it is the best way to meet new people, make friends, or meet your soulmate. On the contrary, others believe that this is a waste of time and that web dating, in principle, does not provide any special prospects. Nonetheless, what do experts say about this?
Today, we invite you to look at web dating from the point of view of psychology and not from the point of view of an ordinary user. We will tell you how psychologists and other specialists who understand human relationships evaluate modern online dating. We are sure this information will be useful to you and may become inspiring and motivating.
Tendencies that can be observed in modern dating
One important tendency has been observed over the past few years; people are gradually abandoning traditional online dating formats, preferring to use more “live” communication formats. Not long ago, Forbes published an article by psychologist Mark Travers, who claims that modern users of popular dating platforms such as Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Bumble are expressing more dissatisfaction with the results of dating on these sites. According to Travers, people often come to him with similar problems as stated below:
- “I met four new people this week, but I don’t want to date any of them.”
- “I’m tired of not being a priority to the people I go on dates with. Maybe I should just take a little break from online and offline dating?”
- “I don’t really like text messages, but I want to know a person before meeting them in real life.”
- “I go on a lot of dates, but they always end up being unsuccessful.”
According to Mark Travers, the main problem is that people communicate with each other only through text messages. Such communication does not allow one to sufficiently know the chat partner, subsequently, it gradually creates false expectations in people. We as humans, tend to idealize others, which is why we often create an ideal image of a person in our heads, and most times they don’t correspond to what we envisage. As a result, the first meeting in real life often leads to disappointment.
Communication in video chats best satisfies the requirements of the modern user
Many psychologists rightfully believe that traditional online dating may not give the desired result. Thus, marriage and family therapists known as Alice Forman argue that there are striking differences between offline and online dating as explained below. “The main difference is the lack of personal contact and communication. Without this, it is difficult to recognize social cues, both verbal and non-verbal, including body posture, facial expression, etc. However, these are the hints that help you understand whether a person is interested in you and whether there is a connection between both of you. There is a type of barrier on the Internet that is difficult to break.” However, it is worth understanding that Forman is talking specifically about traditional methods of dating on the Internet, which for the most part comes down to text messaging. If we are talking about the format of dating in video chats, such disadvantages are usually excluded. You see and hear your chat partner, read their body language, see gestures and facial expressions, catch voice intonations and mood; almost like in real life. This is why many modern relationship experts recommend the gradual process of moving away from traditional web dating and using video chats. For example:
- Bigo Live — not an online video chat for dating in the usual sense, but primarily a video streaming platform on which you can conduct or watch live broadcasts. If you want to express yourself or just have a good time, Bigo Live can be a great platform for you.
- CooMeet — a popular video chat that connects men to ladies only, and it never makes a mistake. All thanks to a unique gender filter and profile verification. Also, coomeet.com has excellent moderation and support services, an analogue of Instagram Stories, a built-in message translator, and a convenient mobile app.
- ChatVille — a simple online video chat with gender and language filters. You can use ChatVille without registration, but if you register, you will have access to more useful features.
- Tumile — a video chat for smartphones, which is similar to its analogues and has several interesting features. One of them is a huge number of custom filters and masks for photos and videos, which help make dating more creative.
- Mixu — a classic video chat for dating and communicating with new people. The platform has a modern design with all the necessary basic features and settings, but nothing superfluous.
- Minichat — a simple video chat with gender and geographic filters. You can meet lots of new people, chat via text or video and do whatever you want. The platform is minimalistic and perfect for beginners.
Regardless of which video chat you choose, you will get the main thing, which is the opportunity to communicate with new people like in real life, and not be limited to just texting. Accordingly, you have the opportunity to form a more objective idea of the person and understand whether they are suitable for you or whether it is worth continuing the search to find “the one”
How changes in priorities affect online dating
In the past, most people didn’t take online dating seriously. It was just one way to have fun for many. However, many people didn’t count on a real relationship. Nowadays, web dating is regarded as a chance to find love, and this is a positive tendency. Psychologist Mark Shulman states that the task of every modern person who meets on the Internet is to set priorities correctly. To do this, you need to follow a few key steps below.
- Evaluate previous relationships and take into account your own experiences to make the next relationship more promising. If you can find the strengths and weaknesses of your past relationships, you can use them to your advantage.
- Think about your strengths and what is important to you. For some people, it is creativity, for others it is either family or career. Try to determine your top priority.
- Work with a therapist if necessary. Sometimes the assistance of a good specialist can be very helpful, especially if you experience difficulties with new dating or find some disadvantages in every dating.
Shulman says: “So many of us have vague and unclear priorities. Firstly, a person must be honest with him or herself. Honesty is the key to achieving fulfilling relationships in the future.” Indeed, the ability to set priorities correctly is an important skill for a modern person. Currently, we are talking about dating and life in general. Pay special attention to this; you won’t regret it!
