While for many it is a happy event, for people who have experienced the death of their mother or a child, the annual occasion can reignite painful feelings.
Jane Hazeldine, Mountbatten’s director of psychosocial care, leads the hospice’s psychology and bereavement service, which supports Islanders who have a life-limiting or terminal illness as they face death, as well as the families and friends of those who have died. The service is open to anyone who has experienced the death of someone close to them – no matter where they are, or how the person died. They do not need to have been under Mountbatten’s care, as the service is open to anyone on the Isle of Wight.
“Occasions such as Mother’s Day can make some people feel resentful that their own mother is no longer alive, as others enjoy special time together. It also doesn’t matter when the death has happened, such events in the calendar can bring back distressing experiences, sometimes in unexpected ways.”
Mountbatten is using social media to share advice from its bereavement experts on how to cope during the run-up to Mother’s Day, in the form of an infographic. The graphic also explains how to get in touch with the psychology and bereavement service. Advice on how to cope includes:
- Acknowledge – accept your feelings, whatever they might be. Everyone takes their own path in grief and mourning, finding their own way to express their thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge that whilst you miss them, they are still with you in your thoughts and memories.
- Time for your self – Mother’s Day may bring many reminders that may highlight our grief. It is still important to find time for both yourself and to also remember your mum in the way that feels right for you.
- Talking about it – talk with loved ones about your emotions and try to be honest about what you want. If you would like to talk about the person who has died, then do so. Talking to others who are also grieving can help you not to feel so alone.
- Doing something – find a way to acknowledge your memories of your mum by visiting special places or talking about her and sharing memories. You might like to light a candle or plant a flower in celebration of her life.
- Support – it doesn’t matter how much time has passed, annual occasions such as Mother’s Day can make us more aware of our grief. Our bereavement service is available to anyone who has experienced a death, no matter where or how it happened. You are very welcome to access our support groups or one-to-one bereavement support. You can call our Psychology and Bereavement service on 01983 217346 for further advice and information.