He’s gathered more than 360million online likes and collaborated with Jedward of The X Factor – but who really is Tim Cheese?
If I’m honest, it was another normal day of endless scrolling on social media that did it. Coffee in hand, earphones in, work almost done for the day – that’s when I opened TikTok and the obsession started.
It’s always a bit of a deluge of themes when I open my TikTok For You page. Some days I end up hours deep in motivational quotes, on others I follow the progress of a wholesome chap doing up a pensioner’s house for the bargain price of worldwide exposure, then sometimes the algorithm gets a little too local and familiar sights begin to appear in front of me.
This day was one of those days; but among clips of tourists taking in the hovercraft, local content creators like Bryony the Island Girl, and what looked like quite a delicious seaside breakfast… was Tim Cheese.
It turns out I’d been watching the man-sized rodent’s videos for some time before I made the realisation that he was a local. He featured in both my likes and reposts, but the videos I’d clearly found funny during a 02:00 post-breakup bed rotting session were filmed in less conspicuous locations: a dimly lit kitchen, London’s Tower Bridge, an unidentified car park.
This time, though, I spotted my first major clue that Tim Cheese was among us: the unmistakable sight of Yarmouth Pier.
I really hadn’t intended to get quite as involved in his life as I did but the more his videos – and familiar sights – appeared, the more intrigued I got. I saw the highs and lows of a mouse’s life. I witnessed his breakup and I admittedly sighed quite loudly when I saw him collaborating with one of The X Factor‘s biggest nightmares (namely Jedward).
I began my investigation.
Searching for mouseholes
Beginning where any good detective would, I started at the scene of the crime.
Tim had been filming not too far from my home, so I thought I’d ask the neighbours.
Quite how they had previously managed to notice and gossip about the number of pizza deliveries I’d been getting, yet somehow all missed the appearance of a five-foot mouse, remains unclear. Either way, I had no luck.
I widened my search to even more locations. Sainsbury’s car park in the middle of the night, ASDA petrol station in the early morning, Yaverland beach, and apparently halfway up a hillside in Chale. Still no one had seen him.
I asked one Chale resident whether they had seen the mouse. I asked one Chale resident whether they had seen the mouse. Somewhat unhelpfully, but with what I’m sure were the best intentions, they pointed at the Wight Mouse pub across the road.
With eyewitness testimony proving unreliable, I went forensic.
By this stage, the investigation had moved beyond casual curiosity. I was cataloguing locations, comparing upload times and looking for objects that might identify where he lived. I even created a map of his known movements across the Island.
From the background of some of the murkier videos, it became clear that the mouse was a big Mario fan. Action figures of Bowser and a Nintendo Wii occupied his shelves. For a brief and embarrassing moment, I considered waiting near an arcade.
As time went on, it became clear that I was no Sherlock Holmes. More humiliatingly, I was nowhere near as organised as the mouse.
While I catalogued locations and examined background objects, Tim appeared entirely unconcerned. He had somehow managed to cart a grand piano onto the downs and film himself performing a Sienna Spiro song.
@bigbackedrats #siennaspiro #oliviarodrigo #less ♬ original sound – SIENNA SPIRO
Tim Cheese was undoubtedly better at logistics than I was at detective work.
So, what did I know after all my sleuthing? Well, not a lot, if truth be told. It was frustrating to say the least.
It seemed then as it does now that finding Tim Cheese might be a task too big for one man alone. Who’d have thought finding a mouse so famous he boasts more than 3 million followers and has been sponsored by Ninja would be so difficult on such a small Island?
What I did find out was as follows:
- He plays piano, dives, dances and paddleboards.
- His love life is more eventful than most humans.
- He has mastered the dramatic sunset silhouette.
- He must own a van. No mouse transports a grand piano, bathtub and chaise longue by bus.
None of this aided my search, so as quickly as I began, I gave up. My research time had been wasted, unless you count turning it into what could be the local media’s most pointless article of the decade.
Deep down, though, I still want answers. Have you seen Tim Cheese? Can you piece together his countless clues? I’m not calling it a witch-hunt, but perhaps a mousetrap.
